I am having these pains, you know the "butterflies in your stomach feeling" But its all the time, and at times I feel so bad. It does get aggrevated by some thoughts, I'm taking a break from school and seeing Psychologist and getting treatment, so please don't answer with "Go see professional help"
I'm posting this to see if anyone can POSSIBLY Relate.
I had a moment in my life where it led to me to the dumps, Mentally. I am depressed, I have Anxious characteristics..
Whats wrong with me? I keep thinking soo much and it's just mentally exhausting,
Psychologists think I can relate to PTSD.. Post Traumatic Stress disorder..
I don't Enjoy music anymore, it makes me uncomfortable and my thoughts are so stupid, It's like thinking that i'm a dirty ********* or, or when I look at commercials with kids I feel worse and have that thought Again, Like it's just STUPIDDDD Thoughts, Pedophiles are monsters They should all go to prison and DIE, It's also like me being afraid of Homosexuality, but in reality, In your mind YOURE EITHER GAY OR YOURE NOT, But it's just weird cause I love girls, or If I ever went to the Army I would shoot someone on my team.. Like that, You know as I type this, I recall no Positive thoughts in my present life. They're all negative thoughts that don't relate to MY Teen life.
This pain is like someone is punching you in your bruised arm, again and again and again... It feels like I'm full of food, or a balloon is there, Someone told me they feel this when they're full of stress dealing with Relationships and jobs.
I feel this all the time and I'm only 16... Like the moment I wake up, to the moment I sleep.
I can't function as a person, I have weird thoughts all the time, they're so difficult to withstand. I'm talking to a cool person that I just met and I think the worst like, me punching her and feel my body just freezing up and in my head i'm thinking like Omg, Where did this come from, I can't imagine my self doing that, or when Im sitting beside a female clerk trying to help me, I'm just like Imaging at the moment as I speak that I would grab her breast, that's one example, I've never acted upon this and NEVER would. but I've never thought like this And when I'm at school I try to be populare and I've set myself for failure to get physically fit and it's just so ******* Hard to live now. It's like when I ask people "Do you have this Abdominal pain, Like the butterflies but they dont go away" They're like Nah I don't I feel nothing there, I could probably feel my food If I jumped up or something, And I'm just like Ahh there's some hope... And Like when I breath DEEEPLY It's not there until I exhale.
Can someone shed some light on this, Any? (Please If you intend to answer "Go get some treatment", Then Don't Answer this question. I am getting all the possible help out there that's available.
PLEASE Help,