I've been extremely depressed for about two years now, but I've always been unhappy since I was 10. That was the year I moved to a new house and a new school. Long story short, I was completely miserable there but I dealt with it until high school. I've kept in contact with my friends from before I moved, they've helped me get as far as I have. In the middle of grade 9, I switched schools hoping for a positive change, but it was a total let down. My therapist told me I have social anxiety. I ended up almost not passing any of my classes, because I was missing so much school. But I did pull through. Ever since I started high school, I've contemplated going to the school near my old house to be with my friends, but the distance (approx. over an hour taking transit each way, everyday) has kept me from doing it. I'm currently "home schooled", but the correct term is hospital homebound.
Now I barely get out of my house, I sleep a lot more than normal, I have lack of motivation to do anything anymore, contact between my friends is almost non-existent, there is a lot of tension between me and my parents, they're desperately doing everything they can to help me. I always feel guilty. I deleted my facebook during summer, and I'm not on any other social networking sites, I don't even text anyone anymore. I've never had a boyfriend, most of my friends (they're my age) aren't even virgins, I feel so pressured and even more lonely. It's safe to say that I've isolated myself.
My depression has ruined all aspects of my life. I want to be happy again. I want to finish school. I just want my life back. Problem is, I am just stuck on what to do now. I can't stand the suburban neighborhood that I'm in or any of the people around here, I feel like its been holding me back from so many opportunities. I'm currently taking anti-depressants everyday (Prozac) which has done absolutely nothing. My grandma is the only one in my family with a history of depression (not clinically diagnosed) To be completely honest, I'm so close to giving up. I can't block out my suicidal thoughts anymore.
Thank-you to whoever is reading all of this, if you have any advice please let me know!