Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your question.
Many people would recommend disclosure of an active genital HPV infection (whether high or low risk, and with or without warts or pap smear abnormalities) to all partners. But others would disagree; one size doesn't fit all. But in generaly it's a good idea, at least out of courtesy. Some partners may wish to consider HPV vaccination (if they are under the usual age cut-off of 26 years).
Disclosing HPV infections to partners usually makes no difference in their risk (over the long term) in catching HPV, getting complications from it, or transmission risk to other partners they may have. Why not? Because almost everybody gets genital HPV anyway, often several times. For every partner who has a diagnosed infection, there usually are several others who are infected and don't know. Every sexually active person should expect to have one or more genital HPV infections, often with the high risk types. Even with the highest risk HPV strains, the large majority of infected people don't get cancer.
Here are two past threads that discuss these issues in more detail.
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/hpv-QA/show/742564
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/HPV-Transmission/show/1522088
These comments and the other threads pretty well address some of your questions. But to be explicit:
1) High vs low risk, and with or without pap smear abnormalities, all genital HPV infections detected by DNA testing should be assumed to be highly infectious for partners. However, many partners will be immune, if they have previously been infected with the same HPV type; and if infected, most people will never know it and will not develop cancer or other serious outcomes.
2) You can assume your HPV infection other genital tissues other than the cervix; and cervical secretions can contaminate the vagina, labia, etc. Condoms reduce but do not eliminate the potential for HPV infection; even with consistent condom use, most susceptible, exposed partners probably will be infected.
3) Female condoms might work better to prevent HPV, but this hasn't been studied. Most couples probably wouldn't consider it worth the hassle.
4) Oral sex is inherently lower risk for HPV than genital or anal sex. Oral infection might occur, but as for genital, most infections remain asymptomatic and clear up on their own.
5) See my opening comments.
6) In my opinion, there is no reason to say more at all to your past partner. You've done as much as can be expected; what he does with the information now is entirely his problem, not yours.
7) There would be no harm to either you or your partner. Once infected with a particular HPV strain, a person will not be reinfected. As far as we know, couples do not "ping pong" their mutual HPV infections back and forth. There would be no harm to either you or your partner.
I hope this has been helpful. Best wishes-- HHH, MD