So here comes a doozy of a question.
My wife and I have been separated for over a year (not legally - I moved out). The issues that lead to this decision was a number of arguments that resulted in fights. Nothing real physically, just throwing of things, extremely mean things said to one another (mainly by me) and this went on for most of our marriage and since we met. Throughout out relationship I often wondered if this was the right relationship (and marriage) for me. And I do mean often. Finally one argument too many and I decided that it was best that we went to neutral corners and I moved out. Since then, I have found myself talking to a number of woman (friends mainly) and eventually started to think of them in a slightly different way. It has now been a year of being separated and I have now slept with 4 different woman. I regret it afterwards, and always think of my wife and what have I done, however, when the opportunity arises, I find myself still cheating. I struggle with the question of "Do I love my wife" and I feel like I do. Especially when I see her. She is very attractive and has some very good qualities about her, however I am not sure if we are meant to be together. I feel confused, lost, stressed, like an a-hole, you name the emotion and I am feeling it. Now is the question if I continue with going as far as a divorce. A part of me wants her back, however I KNOW that if she knew that I cheated on her, she will not want me back. I just need some advice, similar stories, lectures, anything at this point.
Thanks
The Confused One!