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Avatar universal

Wished I Never Had Sex

Sad to say that i am in the age group (over 18 under 21) where it is very common for us to have HPV. Although Im very intelligent obvisously my decisions weren't. I just had my first paps test a few months ago...one stupid mistake. I've had unprotected sex...stupid mistake number two well it couldnt be that stupid since it was with a total of three people over a 4yr term at least thats what i thought. Ok thats done and over with. So here is the story my very first paps test came back abnormal. My doc referred me to a GYN to repeat the paps. The GYN told me that I have LSIL and mild dysplasia and scheduled me for a biopsy. I got the biopsy done and she tells me that I have high risk HPV and will schedule a LEEP. By this point there was little room for crying and getting upset since I was being hard-headed and not using protection all the time rather 92% of the time or just being abstinent. So the procedure takes place on the 18th of this month. Can you advise me what I have in store after this process? Well really my main concern is the pain? I cant even step into a doctors office or hospital without thinking what goes on behind closed doors. And do I really have it that BAD? You know the LSIL, mild dysplasia, high risk HPV, and the LEEP surgery.
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Avatar universal
I am 52 years old.In 11-06 was told i had level one squamous cells that needed to be removed.HPV test negative at the time.I had them removed.Follow-up pap 6-07 showed HPV!I was celibate 10 years.Now x had std testing and had told me he hadn't been sexually active for 3 years.He lied and stupid me didn't use a condom either.I had LEEP 8-07.ur psychological state of mind depends on how u handle this!i have a high threshold to pain,i breathed deep and it was over in 20 minutes.I really felt little-no discomfort until a week later when this blackish stuff began to appear on pads i wore for a month.Mild cramping after for me.not in beginning...we r all different but if it must be done get it done dear!i KNOW how u feel with the anger at self....i'm still having a bit of that but its lessening.We are only human and have a lot of company here.I'm glad i didn't end up with worse!I have learned so much in the std forum and about HPV.I haven't had sex for over a year now.It will be hard for me to trust and believe someone again and they will have to pass my line of questioning and get full panel of std testing which i don't think many men will be able to withstand.Please relax ur mind,theres a lot of good info on net about LEEP procedure and again how ur state of mind is when u approach it is KEY!I go back 12-17 for another pap..i've read that in 30% of cases a second LEEP may have to be done..it can return....Lord i hope not.Well i'm 52 and feel like this damn sex is/was not worth all of this!:))))))))i don't care how common this is....it sucks!I will pray for u...ur LEEP one day after my pap!:))))))
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
the day of LEEP they will tell u 2 have no caffeine.they administer an injection in 4 areas on the cervix of lidocaine/ephinephrine to numb.when ur heart starts to race u'll know it will take effect!I really didn't feel much of anything..i was anxious oh yes but wanted that **** offa my cervix!it will b ok dear..it will....i know how u feel and u must get this taken care of.Big cyberhug 2 u!:))))))
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Avatar universal
I appreciate your prays and I have did a lot of research before i joined this website but I just needed actually comments from somebody. Even though some of your comments scared the mess out of me "...injection in 4 areas of the cervix..." but im good now. Im just ready to get this out the way because I have to start my new job about 3 weeks later due to the surgery. At least they were kind enough to hold a position for me. The main thing Im really wishing would go away is the HPV. I read in several places that a lot of people immune system fights the virus off. I hope everday that some miracle would happen so mine would just leave my body forever. Im still young and I dont want this to be apart of my life for lord only knows how long. Now I got myself tearing up lol. Another that sucks really bad is that I would have to wear a pad for awhile. My birth control pills just now started lightening my cycle so I wouldnt have to wear pads anymore. Oh well I guess this is a way of punishment. But I do thank you again!!!
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Avatar universal
Oh girl ur beating self up like i was...am still doing a little.I didn't even FEEL those 4 small injections.....didn't feel it at all!yes that pad stuff sucks..but it can get messy in the underwear....after the first week of sloughing out of body what was burned it lightened up.....but if it needs to b gotten out of u it must be done......i drove myself home!The biggest thing for u at ur age will be in the future for relationships....knowing ur partners histories and what they may be bringing to u..u have full control over that!and so do I but I am 52 and know i will not be active for a long time....maybe never again.This has done a number on me!But u r young and have quite the full life ahead of u......so proceed and try 2 b more gentle on urself!:)))
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Avatar universal
I know exactly how you feel. I have only slept with 3 guys, and the one guy that happened ONE night for FIVE minutes gave me genital warts. My world fell apart when I found out. I am around your age, in grad school, and have always made smart decisions. It was such a blow to recieve the news that I had HPV.
I have been bleeding during hand/genital contact recently, so I am scared to go to my annual in January. I am so worried that I will have to have something like the LEEP done as well. My doctor said that the strain that causes genital warts doesn't cause cancer, but who knows what other strains I could have as well.
Anyways, I hope the procedure goes smoothly and that you don't feel much pain.
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Avatar universal
It only takes one time!I had associated HPV with promiscuity alone..how wrong i was!Celibate 10 freakin years and first time i decide to NOT use a condom i get HPV!foolish old broad here plus x  a liar and stupid about his own health.You go to that pap in January dear.I hope u never hafta have a LEEP but i sailed thru it with flying colors!keep us posted!
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Avatar universal
I really need to step in here.  HPV is practically unavoidable for anyone who has sex.  Everyone gets HPV at some point unless they are both virgins and have never touch another human being.  People will have sex.  That's what we do - we have to in order to pro-create and to feel a connection with another person.  Stop beating yourself up over this.   You are at an age where the HPV will probably go dormant at any moment.  Still you need to get paps and if necessary have treatment to any abnormal cells.  The facts are that 95% of the people with HPV will have no ill effects.  Only 5% do.  And LSIL reverts back to normal in most cases.  It's HSIL that has to be watched more closely however even with LSIL, I would still watch that closely too so that it doesn't progress on to something worse.

Until the medical community learns how to deal with telling their patients about HPV in a way that won't make them feel like they are "dirty" or "******", people will continue to treat HPV like it's some sort of obscure virus, which it most certainly isn't.  

And this is especially for women here - men sleep around more b/c there is less social stigma to do so.  They don't feel guilt like women.  The chances of you meeting a man who doesn't have HPV is slim to none.  

The HPV test only tests for "active" hpv.   When the virus goes dormant, it will test negative on an HPV test but that doesn't mean that you don't have HPV.  

Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
i know ur right honey....and i'm a lot better now than i was in 8-07...gonna take time and ur so right!what sucks is being lied too....such an annoying all 2 common human trait....and we're only human so true.this forum helps me to feel camaraderie with other women who have this and by reaching out to them i lessen my self anger and shame.what really sucks bigtime and stops me from even having an interest in a meeting a man is that females bear the medical brunt of this plus the xpense more than a man ever will.I already have a history of cervical issues non-hpv related and now hpv related..that the man issue is a non-issue.perhaps some day that may change but like i said it will take a helluva man.Glad ur here 4 us!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I know what you mean, I thought I was the only one with HPV until I came to medhelp.  This forum has been great for me.  Learned so much from everyone and made some nice friends in the meantime.  It does suck that women carry the brunt of the issues with HPV.  The sad part is that most men don't even know they have it.  There is no test for them.  

I think if you want a man, you'll get one.  You just need one who is going to treat you right and have it be someone you can respect and admire.   He will be a hellava man!!!!

My guy has a great sense of humor which to me is the most important thing anyone can have.  We laugh all the time but know when to be serious too.  He's smart (University Professor) and has his own consulting business on the side.  Very well off but also knows how to have fun.  I've been serious for way too long and have decided that now is the time to have some fun in my life.  



Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you so much for your posts. HPV does make me feel dirty and like my life has just been turned upside down. I know there are many worse things that could have happened to me, but this was sure a blow to the system. I am slowly learning more about it everyday, and I definitely didn't know that the hpv test would come back negative if you had it and it was dormant.
It is scary how many people have this and don't know, not to mention how easily it is spread. After I found out, I started seeing a guy, and we read that not even condoms can help, so sex went out the window.
Nonetheless I am glad to hear from other women. It has been such a dirty secret for me that I haven't even been able to share with my best friends.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sweetheart, most people have this.  Even your best friends probably have it as well as the guy you are seeing (especially if he has been with 3 or more women).  You can even get this if you fool around with someone and don't have sex.  It's been found under fingernails.  Ever wondered why they say the vaccine is most effective when given to girls 9 - 13?  Because around 13 or 14, people start heaving petting.  

I felt the same way as you when I first found out.  My dr. was really bad too and didn't help matters.  When I told her that 80% of the women have been exposed by the time they are 50, she said "I don't think it's that high".  I fired her immediately and when her nurses called me to schedule a follow up, I said that she needed to get herself educated and found another dr.   Once I found out, and started researching it, I realized how many of my friends have had LEEP or bad paps or cone biopsies....

Just know that you can still have a normal sex life, have children (my best friend has 2 little girls and she had LEEP in her early 30's) and this will soon become something you rarely think about.  

Make sure you find a good gyn, get regular paps, eat right (fruits & veggies), take extra folic acid (it's cheap, you can buy it at any CVS or health food store), and otherwise keep yourself healthy.  You'll be ok.  You both will.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Really like and agree with both ur comments.I'm always reminded how fortunate I am.Took my good friend out 2 birthday lunch today.She told me her good friends sister who is close to 60 got divorced after a miserable marriage and began to date who she thought was a good man.Lo and behold he neglected to tell her (and i know she didn't ask for her hub was the only man she'd been with) that he had HSV-2!And now she has it!This woman is devastated...i know u both can imagine how she feels!My heart goes out to her!It will be hard for me to trust someone again... i will have to know them a long time!That woman will also be in my prayers as are all the women here!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Im really not beating myself up as bad as I make it seem. I have a little more than week to operation. I cant wait, im so anxious not really all that scared anymore. Im glad in a way because this could of been something much worst. Im also glad that you all are here sharing thoughts and insights. Im really not looking for a man unless I get back with my ex. He wants to get back together and he is ok with the hole HPV thing...either I got it for him or he got it from me who knows? But we are taking time off...its a guarantee we will get back together. But anyway I will start being more healthy again...I used to play sports year-round in high school and first year of college. I will definately keep you all posted on after my LEEP. And the hole thing about telling your closest friends. I told my 2 closest home girls and they were both like "I never told anybody this but I had..." amazing isnt it?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i know how u feel...we all do...getting back with x.....how did he handle it when u told him bout the HPV?is he with other partners?does he have any std's?been tested?yes i'm nosey but its concern for ur health...and u must be the stern gatekeeper of it from here on out!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
He acted as if he was fine...I couldnt really tell how he was feeling over the phone "long distance". I quote him, "...babe if you got it, I got it. I still love you" When we were at school last semester we both got tested for HIV and both came out negative. He stated he got tested for std's before he met me but never saw the proof. I did inform him on everything that I research from HPV to cancer to surgery to health. I broke it down for him and he understood. I also advised him to do research and maybe call his doctor for himself. I know for a fact he isnt with anybody else since we just broke up about 3 weeks ago. I understand the hole being concerned about the health thing. And from here on out it will just be me, myself and I or my ex. I dont feel like being with anybody else.
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Avatar universal
He acted as if he was fine...I couldnt really tell how he was feeling over the phone "long distance". I quote him, "...babe if you got it, I got it. I still love you" When we were at school last semester we both got tested for HIV and both came out negative. He stated he got tested for std's before he met me but never saw the proof. I did inform him on everything that I research from HPV to cancer to surgery to health. I broke it down for him and he understood. I also advised him to do research and maybe call his doctor for himself. I know for a fact he isnt with anybody else since we just broke up about 3 weeks ago. I understand the hole being concerned about the health thing. And from here on out it will just be me, myself and I or my ex. I dont feel like being with anybody else.
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Avatar universal
that was cool of him and seems like from ur words he showed a concern for u....didn't deny it was him....i hope it works out 4 u...and him...and that he'll support whatever medical treatment u need and b there 4 u....how faraway is he?how often u get 2 c him?
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Avatar universal
He's about 4 hours away. I dont get to see him at all anymore. The last time I seen him was before my colpsy. I mean we still talk every other day but we're just on friend terms right now. We still love each other but I guess being young and in a serious relationship we decided to "cool-it" for awhile.
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Avatar universal
yes u r young and have ur whole life ahead of u!cooling it is wise...but cool his concern for u!i did not receive that from one who gave me HPV.One of the many reasons he is my X!
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Avatar universal
Your HPV will probably clear after the surgery. My doc said I would have a 95 % success rate with surgery. I had mine at 25 and I'm 36 now, and I never had an abnormal pap again. Good luck.
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Avatar universal
I thought the surgery was only to clear my dysplasia? And I thought HPV doesnt clear, that it just lies dormant? I need some luck anyway. Thanks!
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Avatar universal
the surgery will remove the bad cells from ur cervix.a follow-up pap will be rescehduled in a few months to see if it came back.The virus itself will clear from the body in time and yes lies dormant.
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Avatar universal
Keep me posted about your follow up tomorrow. thats if you dont mind. thanks.

P.S.
Im going for my pre-op at 9am. Tuesday is almost here and im so ready to stop thinking about the prodecure and stop talking about it to my homegirl. I mean she is behind me 100% but she can barely relate. Well she will be alright lol.
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Avatar universal
thank u dear..its 2 day at 1pm!will have to wait 10 days for results from Labcorp.I will b thinking of u 2 morrow-prayers..u'll do fine..breathe deep and relax during it..i did and it came out fine!
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