Since son started new school, more difficult behaviors at home

[benjimom]

My son was recently moved ot a new school.  So far he is doing well in teh new school.  At home though, he is having a lot of tantrums, much more than the norm and getting more aggressive and angry.  He starts to yell too. I try to ignore him and he eventually settles down.   I don't know if the change in schools has upset his balance, he just seems to be very sensitive at home these days. He just turned 6 a week ago.   He is mainly like this with me, not near so much with his babysitter, thought he did have one fit the other day, but not near the frequency or intensity.  What do you think????  

[stayathomemommyof2]

i agree with the others but do u think something could be going on at school he feels he cant deal with (a bully etc) i think u should sit down with him and address his issue at home not in a" your in trouble" way but in a" whats going on" way just listen to what  he has to say example:  when he has a fit grab him hug him talk softly tell him it is ok and reesure him u love him let him get it all out cry scream whatever he feels he needs to do as long as it isnt hurting u or himself then ask him whats going on "why are u upset" most importantly talk to him everyday about his day really listen this will reassure him his feelings matter and may reduce the tantrums I think a big mistake parents make is not letting children express there feelings like they shouldnt be mad let him know it is ok to feel this way bu help him t find another way to show his anger and frustration. get him something like a diary or journal ask him to write in it everyday then if he wants u to ask him can u read what he wrote and talk about it.do  u think he is mad and frustrated or just showing out and wanting attention because i feel these 2 things should be addressed in seperate ways

[benjimom]

He did so much better today and got his yellow belt from karate.  I am just happy he is finally doing better in school.  I'm still scared to find out how he did today, but I guess I'm still recovering from the old school.  To me, it has been very traumatic.    I felt very powerless in that situation and it went from bad to worse.  It's terrible to feel that way and then they called me all the time to come pick him up, it makes it hard for me to relax even now with all that that went on.  I keep waiting for the phone to ring and them to demand I pick up and drop everything!!

[benjimom]

I think maybe he is getting overtired and it is a lot to a little kid to go thru big changes, going to a new school is a big deal and lots of changes, kind of like starting a new job.  

[RockRose]

I agree with SpecialMom and I also want to reiterate that your son has  had a very very difficult time in school previously,  and now he's finally trying - and apparently succeeding - in behaving well in his new school.

I think his misbehavior and meltdowns at home should be completely forgiven if he can manage to succeed in school,  which he has not been able to do previously.  

[specialmom]

Possibly as your son is trying to hold it together better at school, he falls apart at home.  I've been through this and my husband and I are in agreement that we'd rather the meltdowns happen with us than at school or with his friends.  Some kids will have meltdowns right after occupational therapy and we've had this happen too.  The point ot is to work on the nervous system but they also challenge the child.  They do things right up to the brink of being hard and try to see how hard they can push.  They don't want to go over the edge . . . but sometimes do. I don't know how to explain this and if it happens, message me and we'll talk about it.  I has happened a handful of times.  Anyway, your ot should give you strategies like the stress thermometer which I know I've given you before and you will need to implement those strategies at home to help him.  But if he is controlling himself at school all day----------  this takes a lot of effort.  He is tired by the time he is back home and he is comfortable with you and will blow.  Doesn't make it okay---------  but I can handle it if he's doing better in school.  Remember, a melt down for a sensory kid means they feel terrible on the inside.  They feel as bad as they are acting.  Handle the situation with patience and love.  The more calm you are the faster it will blow over.  It should get better with time.  goodluck