Chronic anxiety hiv

[cannotstopworried]

I've been here (medhelp) since 2-3years ago. My concern is AFRAIDS, very anxious about hiv/aids and std. I am educated, know the transmission of hiv, repeatly told in medhelp forum, repeatly read and keep googling. Because my keep search in google become my habit, sometimes i stop it make me feel lost something. What should i do?
If you want to know my concern here :
Got massage by therapist, got handjob barely without any protection. I fingered her by gloves. She touch her pants (maybe there is a little infectious fluid) and then touch my penis. She was hospitalize in 1 month with unkwon fever. I kissed her (dry kiss). Just it.
All i did is negligible risk.
Because i want to end this, i planning to get tested, but i am afraid if i do not accept my test...
My country using ELFA method as hiv test. And just test hiv1.
Some educated people please help me... My wife is going crazy with my anxious habit. I cannot enjoy my life!
How to move a long? How to put it back? How to move on?

[anxiety860]

You never had a risk. That simple. Maybe you feel guilt and inside you think you deserve it or something? You say you are educated and know you don't have a risk yet your anxiety won't let you believe that. A test isn't necessary. Maybe you should try therapy and talk through this with somebody. I'd stop googling symptoms, facts, etc because it puts the thought in your mind. I hope you get better and can realize that you're fine

[cannotstopworried]

Thanx for your answer... I still scare... What if .......... Sad