recognizing family

[umya]

My father has advanced alzheimer's disease.  He doesn't speak and doesn't seem to recognize me when I see him though he responds to affection albeit very slowly.  He is in a nursing home.   He is on Respirdol among other things which slows him even more I suspect.   Would an increase in the frequency of visits make a difference in his memory of me?   Would he know it was even me who was visiting him?   Does he remember me, our past etc?   I realize these are fairly broad questions and there will be a spectrum of possible answers but any facts or opinions would be greatly appreciated.  Many thanks--J

[umya]

Thank you very much for sharing.  I saw my father today and sat quietly with him.  As I was leaving he looked at me and waved.  I got the feeling he knew it was me but I understand that that may or may not be the case.  In any case, I do think he enjoyed the visit and I guess that is the main thing.  He has taken up this whistling behaviour where he just sits and purses his lips and whistles.  No tune or tone really.  It's curious.  And it seems to increase when trying to engage him in conversation.  Have you ever heard of this?

[Stellatum]

My grandmother had been in a state like you describe for a few years. When I visit her, she doesn't respond in any way to my presence, and she doesn't seem to notice what's around her. Her eyes are open, but otherwise she doesn't really seem conscious.

A few weeks ago, she surprised everyone by speaking. She said to one of the nurses, "You help me every day." So that gives me the idea that even though she doesn't respond, she _is_ aware, at least sometimes--especially since she said "every day," which indicates that she has noticed this particular nurse, who takes care of her the most, many times.

So I suspect there's more going on than we realize, even if we don't see any response.