Xanax

[Dee1956]

Hi I am not sure that I am posting in the right place but thought I would try here first.  I ruptured a disc in my back in early July.  I was in so much pain that I started to use my normal .50 mg a day of Xanax 4 times a day.
As the pain got worse, I tried chiropractor,I started going to doctors to get an MRI. It took me several visits to find a doctor who would send me for an MRI.  He said I ruptured a disc, needed surgery.
So for several months I was taking more than my normal dose of Xanax., it acted as a muscle relaxer.  Once I started to recover I went back to my .50 mg a day.  Within weeks I was crying all the time.  I don't know if it was all the cortisone they gave me, which makes me emotional or the trauma of the surgery and then 3 weeks later my husbands surgery or what.  I went to my anxiety doctor.  He seems to think it was me reducing my dose of Xanax.  He said my body/brain is now dependent and I am going to have to wean down. I thought I had done that by returning to old dose, he said that is not how to do it as it causes protracted withdrawal symptoms.  I suffer from panic attacks is why I started the Xanax in the first place to use as needed for panic.
Has anyone else had to do this or had an experience with Xanax?  I am shocked this has happened to me.  I would have thought it could happen with pain pills but was very naive about the Xanax.
I appreciate any thoughts on this problem and what, if anything you did.  Everything is making me cry.  My husband thinks I have PTSD from the trauma over the summer and then his 5 day stay in hospital, I stayed with him, never left him.  Forgot to take lots of my own medicine during this time.  It was all about him.
Sorry for long explanation.  Dee

[Dee1956]

Thank you again for your response.  Yes, it is very counter intuitive to me to go up to go back down.  When I look for help in other places I find people taking a lot more than I even did so I can't relate.  The one thing I do see if that you can't just go from 2 mg a day to .50 without problems.  Some even have seizures.  I don't want that.  I have seen where others have use valium to taper down because the half life is so much longer.  I am so angry with myself.  I should have gone back to my GP and told him I needed help while waiting for the surgery.  I had to wait 2 weeks.  I don't think he realized how much pain I was in.  The only way I could walk to the bathroom was with lidoderm patches on my back and a Tens unit.  I thought I was doing so well by not taking pain pills.  I never knew that the Xanax could cause a dependency.  I had never had a problem before.  I will never do this again.  I didn't even crave the xanax I just felt so emotional and didn't know why.
It is getting better.  I have even fallen asleep without the xanax a few nights which is huge for me.

Thank you and everyone here for being so supportive and kind
Dee

[VICourageous]

Hi Dee.
Yes, sometimes I do not understand why they will bring someone back up only to bring them down again. At least he was Smart enough to know that you have to Taper a Benzo for sure. It could be these pills suppressing your appetite. Sounds like you take them throughout the day. I could not take them during the day, but at night only. Just used mine to help me come down from my 2 other meds that got me going like the Energy Bunny. These type of meds were NOT my DOC!!

Sure hope you are eating now. Also, you should have some great left overs from Thanksgiving..Munch away Dee. Hugs!

Maybe talk to the Dr about your Appetite too. You do not want to get to skinny from Not eating OR gain alot of weight from NOT eating. I wish you the best. Oh, make sure you are taking a good multivitamin if you are not eating right.
Bless
Vickie

[Dee1956]

Hi Vic, thank you again for responding. When I started this question. I had gone from using more than my normal .50 mg of Xanax. I could not walk and it took two months of taking additional .50 every 4 to 6 hours.  I finally had back surgery, as I recovered I stopped the extra Xanax in end of September, early October. A month after I stopped doing this I started crying all the time memories from years ago were coming up. I went to doc When my doc explained that it takes a long time to taper I asked if I could be at the end on Nov 5th. He said no, I can't go from 2 or more mg to .50
I don't seem to have an appetite. Maybe it has nothing to do with Xanax but he increased what I was taking when I saw him Nov 5th. Going up to get back down is so counter intuitive to me. Thank you again. I'm sorry for all my worries

[Dee1956]

Thank you Vic, Happy Thanksgiving!!

[VICourageous]

Hi Dee
That one would be hard to tell. Did you eat before, when you had more Xanax?
I know when I used my pills I would not eat either. This is not good for many reasons. I still do this once in a while and I feel very crapppy if I do not eat.
For one thing we need the nutrition's to get us going and keep us going. Like putting gas in a engine.lol Also with any type of meds we need to have a good immune system up and also protect our Brain & Body parts. I try to eat very small and healthy meals every 3-4 hours for weight too. Really can tell a BIG difference if I eat right. Hugs! Sometimes those kind of meds (any Benzo) can turn on you and cause more Anxiety too. Just be safe and try to Eat.  Good Job other wise Dee.

Have a Great Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas. May the New Year being so much more Joy!
Bless
Vickie

[Dee1956]

Hi I am doing better, still have teary moments but since I know what it is at least I no longer feel crazier than normal. I've been watching funny movies. Even movies that I didn't think we're funny first time around

I am having a problem I hope someone can advise me on.  I keep forgetting to eat. I have no appetite. For instance today, woke at 5 did not eat til noon. Is this another Xanax symptom? I appreciate anyone's comments.
Dee

[Dee1956]

Hello all, every answer on here has helped me to understand that without my realizing it I became dependent on the Xanax.
I did not realize what I was doing until the doctor told me.  I am doing much
better now, I just wanted to thank each and every one of you for helping me.
I still have a way to go but at least I now have a plan and with all of you have an understanding of what I was doing to myself.  I hope at some point I will no longer need the xanax to sleep since that was not why I started on it in the first place.  

Evil379, I am glad that my post may have possibly helped your Mom.  I have learned that Xanax is very addictive.  It works fast, leaves the body fast so after a while a person has to increase the dose for help.

[refills]

Dear Dee, I'm so glad to hear you're doing a little better. Such a smart and giving person like yourself deserves so much better than living in the fog of Xanax. It is a med that can help suffering patients but it is not for long term IMO. Again, just taking as prescribe over any given time creates a monster living inside of you. You do not have to be an addict to fall victim.

Congratulations to you for taking such a big step. One and a half years later I still feel some small effects of abuse but I have survived and here to tell everyone that we all can do it to! Just like you are doing. Bless You Always and Take great Care...........ike

[dominosarah]

That makes perfect sense Dee.  Our emotions are so numbed up while we are taking pills only we dont realize it.  Many of us have gone thru the grieving process once we got off all the meds.  Crying is normal so cry away!!  As the great IBK said to me, Congrats on feeling again!!  Taper down slowly so your body can get adjusted.  You are doing great!!!!

[Dee1956]

Thanks so much for posting to me, I really appreciate.  I am much better than I was.  I still have my teary moments but at least I know what it is.
I had never heard of protracted withdrawals until I came here

When I went to my doctor and cried through entire appointment, the ugly cry if you know what I mean, I had no clue what was wrong with me.

It had been about a month since I had stopped taking the extra xanax, I was just on my .50
When he said he felt it was the xanax I asked how could that be?  Shouldn't I be at the end of something like that?  He did not exactly answer me so I came here and learned about PAWS.

While it did allow me to work for many many years, I can see that it is very insidious and you can get in trouble without realizing it.  I probably would have become housebound with out with it.  But....I can see that refill is right and I have decided that I am getting off of it completely.  Not sure how long that will take but the crying is getting on everyone's nerves.
I guess that is why I am thinking of times past when I was happy and old memories are coming up.  Deaths that happened 10 years ago, I am just now grieving.

Does this make sense? I sincerely appreciate any input
Dee

[Dee1956]

WOW!  Thank you for letting me know. I was on it for a very long time until I got into trouble.  It did help with those panic attacks while driving on the beltway but I can also see where I should have just kept going back to the doctor for my ruptured disc instead of trying to take care of it myself.

I am just now realizing that while Xanax is fast acting, it leaves your body fast.  It is now just supposed to be used for short term.  I have been on it for a very long time.  I never had a problem with it or so I thought.  It wasn't until September when I ran out days early that I realized there was a problem.  Before that I always had plenty.  Almost like a stockpile.  I see I really got myself in to a mess.  Thank you all for being so kind.  As Vic said, I am an old timer, 8 years on here.  I started looking for help then remained to try to help others. I think my doctor realized he was giving me too much a couple of years ago when he saw that I was breaking the .50 into.25's he switched me to .25's with the "premise" that I would not have to break in half.  I think he actually realized he was prescribing too much.
A friend of mine went to see him for panic attacks and he gave him 10.  Much different from my amount in the past
Thank you again, Dee

[meegWpaw]

hi Dee ... just wanted you to know i've been reading your thread and i hope you are doing ok ... glad to hear its going better ... keep us posted!

[refills]

Hi there. Well Xanax does have a place in our world for severe anxiety attacks and such. I'm not a doctor so I want to be careful here. I did abuse Xanax for years and I can tell you it is not a pill in my opinion for long term use or as a corrective medication. There are other Benzo meds that act long term. The red flag I see is that a doctor has told your mother that Xanax is not addictive. That's just not right. Seek better medical advice and proceed with caution. Maybe start a new thread on your topic and keep posting best of luck.......ike

[evil379]

Thank you for posting this Dee! My mom has recently been given Xanax by her psychiatrist who keeps telling her it's not addictive at all. I had her read your post and mom finally gets it. She's going to ask her doctor for something else for long term.

[Dee1956]

Thank you and everyone here for taking the time to answer my questions. I am feeling a bit better, not crying all the time like I was.  I am emotional still but at least I have a plan and that is what I am concentrating on.
I do have a good doctor and he is monitoring.  He wrote down exactly what he wants me to do and how to do it
Thank you
D

[refills]

Hey, so it sounds like you may be feeling a little better. This would be great. Sometimes coming off a benzo and Xanax is never easy. Keep posting and let us know how it's going. Great Luck to you Dee!......ike

[Dee1956]

Hi I wanted to come back and thank everyone for their responses to my question.  I think "think"  I will be ok.

[Dee1956]

Hi I really did not think of that so thank you.  When the pain started in June the only thing my GP would give me were flexeril which makes me feel awful I started taking extra xanax as a muscle relaxer., Then I had the back surgery so did not need the extra xanax.  I did not notice the problems till I stopped the pain meds.  I do feel stupid, I never thought I would get in to a situation like this.  And the crying over every little thing and all these memories coming up.  I guess I am lucky I am not sick.
I'm trying not to look up the symptoms anymore just deal with this.
From now on anything I take I am looking it up.  I just thought it was the narcotics I needed to be worried about.  I feel very naive and yes stupid
Doing research I also found out that Tramadol can be a problem.  The first surgeon gave me that, I never took it.  Thank God for that.

I appreciate each and everyone of you for helping me.  I am hard headed and just could not believe this had happened.  I thought PTSD from my surgery and my husbands or the cortisone.  Just did not realize, I know I am repeating myself.  Thank you all again.

[refills]

Hey Dee, Well yes I think you're now on the right path. The one thing I'll add here is that you can't get discouraged. Everything you feel is normal and there is really no way around this without at least little discomfort. Patience and determination is the key. Stay with the plan. If you run into problems and I sure hope you don't, put the pills into someone else hands. It's easier that way. You know before you even started to ramp up your dosage for pain you were already addicted to Xanax? So it's going to take time. You're very smart and I know you have done your homework. Best of Luck and keep posting on this board. I say thank you to you for all the work you have done in different communities on Med-Help. Best Wishes Always......ike

[Dee1956]

Thank you so much, the three of you have given me invaluable support.  I did not even know what was wrong at first.  Then when I started to have intrusive memories I looked it up and saw what was happening.
My doctor was shocked as I was on such a small dose.  I guess it can happen to anyone.  I am already feeling better.
Still recovering from my back surgery, I have only used Advil sinde the 4th week, thought I was doing great till I cut back on the Xanax.
Ugh, thank you so much for supporting me, it means so much
Dee

[VICourageous]

Your so right Dee! And Thank You for your Support!
1 out of my 3 meds was a benzo and I did c/t not knowing anything about it at all. The Methadone was bad enough, but the other 2 meds played so much on my system as well. It was like I came off upper, downers and all a-rounders. Ha! My detox went on forever it seemed and then the Mental took a long time too.

Heading out to Church and think Goodness my Hub turned the Clocks back!

I just wanted to Add, that we get so many people in this community that have Anxiety issues or Depression issues. I like to go over to those sites and see what others have to say. I do pick up a lot from all of these sites that are busy. Read & learn, all I can is my thing now. I guess in the older days I was to busy looking for that Party. Ha! Well in my younger, younger yrs. lol

You just follow the Drs advice and you will make it through and should not experience a w/d either. I have friends who take these things as needed and I warn them about running out. A few had and called me, as I told them they are going into a w/ds for sure. Yikes!!

Have a Great Day!
Bless

[Dee1956]

Dear Vickie.  You are so right, I have been around a long time, trying to help others the last 3 year, getting help the first 5
I never thought I would be in this situation, ever.  I have been on xanax for many many years.  I guess I thought once my back surgery was better I could just go back to the .50 at night.  Now I know different and I have read some horror stories.  I saw where once person was on 10 mg a day and his doctor died.  I don't want to be that person.  While I do have a panic disorder I have had it under control for 20 years.  I usually just carry it in my purse.  My big problem before back surgery pain was awful and I got the stupid idea of using xanax as a muscle relaxer, never again.
I am going to do exactly why my doctor said
I have a feeling when this first came out no one knew how dangerous it could be.  Now there are thousands of heart breaking stories.  I will get through this.  I will write down every time I take one so that I can keep track and will wean down just like my doctor said.
Thank you for responding.
I was really embarrassed to ask but then thought this is what this is for people helping each other
Thank you again, Dee

[Dee1956]

Dear Gnarly, thank you so much for your response.  I just did not realize.  I started Xanax a very long time ago.  3 years ago I was on .50 3 times a day.  I weaned myself down to .50 at night.
Now it appears I have gotten in trouble by  upping the dose while in pain then cutting my dose back to its normal dose once I felt better from the back surgery.  I knew nothing about protracted
withdrawals.  It took about 4 weeks for the crying to start.
Thank you so very much.
I am working with my doctor, I was just hoping there might be others I could ask for support.  Thank you, Dee