I don't think you're overreacting. Your husband's comments are eventually going to begin affecting your son's self esteem, and his actions are teaching him the wrong way to treat women and people in general. You are definitely both being emotionally and verbally abused. If you can get out and get child support, I would consider it. You have tried, but he has shown resistance to changing, which means he does not view his actions as a problem. Until he does (which may never happen), he's not going to change.
Thank you for your insight. My situation is very hard and confusing because half the time he is very nice and says I love you and he can't wait to see me. But he just sometimes does a total 180 and acts like a horrible person; in a rage, yelling and calling us names and telling me to take my stuff and leave. It always catches me by surprise because you just don't expect it!
He even yells at my grandmother!! And she becomes very quiet and tells me later that he is verbally abusive, but he is so nice sometimes!
Again, thank you for helping me, I think I need to remove our son from all the negativity and yelling
Look up 'wheel of violence/abuse'. There are many ways a person can be abusive controlling money, insults, and violence are just some of them. It sounds like he is a pretty classic abuser who blows up, changes for a while (called the honeymoon) then as time goes on tension rises till he blows Upp again. Thing is, the blow ups often get worse over time. Might be a good idea to get a therapist to help you figure out how to handle this.