Hello nhmom38, so your son sounds just like my 12yr old but opposite of when he acts out. Instead of bothering girls at school, he loves aggravating his two younger sisters!! I'd say though in your case, the teacher for one needs not be a push over, which sounds like that's the case ? Otherwise your son wouldn't feel so comfortable acting up, disrupting others, etc if he didn't feel the power to do so, and possibly the teacher just has no experience in dealing with a.d.h.d.and has always been a laid back, whatever kind of attitude teacher and instead of admitting this, he is just blaming your child, lack of discipline , etc... And as you know, the more a child feels that "power" ESP with adhd, the less control they start having over their actions! Botrom line, it's the SCHOOLS RESPONSIBILITY to gain control and a plan to maintain it! He's on medication, from what I've gathered,so it should definitely help with the right guidance , he's NOT without meds, I'd have to say the problem is within he school , and so being you have NO control over his actions in school, you have taken your Steps, which one MAIN thing is having him properly diagnosed, and medicated when a child is showing behavior problems , it's the steps parents take and you've done a few yrs prior. So, don't allow them to put the blame of their lack of competance!
Dang, I just finished a really long post to you and this site lost it. So I apologize in advance. This is going to be a lot shorter.
First, in terms of programs, good question. All studies show that a just medication is not as effective as medication and training. Its usually done by a psychologist and its not cheap. You might look into a series of books called the emotional impact series that is aimed at this age group. You can read about them here - http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Rant-Rave-Wednesdays-Anger-Control/dp/0933849540/ref=pd_sim_b_1
Second, I was a 5th grade teacher for 12 years - so have a fair amount of experience. My first thought is how much of this is related to age, medication, or the teacher.
He is young for his grade level. Might be interesting to see how many boys in the class are younger then him. Add to that the fact that a child with ADHD is typically 2-3 years behind other kids in social maturity. However, sharp kids usually pretty quickly figure out what they can and cannot do. In an elementary school classroom, peer pressure is fairly high to conform. So is something getting in the way of that?
When was the last time his meds were changed? All meds have an effective time of duration. Is there a certain time of the day when he has the most problems? In other words is he good in the morning and not so good after lunch?
by the way, a good high protein breakfast will make his meds more effective. No OJ, that makes them less effective. A good nights sleep is very important.
And, when you say, he had no problems in prior years - one does began to suspect that the teacher might be part of the problem. Does the teacher know he has ADHD? What sets your son off with the teacher? Oh, does he have the same teacher all day - or do they switch off for some subjects?
And, yes, while working with your son is important - working with the teacher is just as important. It may be the teacher has no clue how to work with ADHD kids. This is a link to a site that has many ways to work with teachers. http://www.additudemag.com/search/google.html?match_words=teacher&x=0&y=0
If I knew more specifically of what he was doing I could be of more help. And if you can answer some of the questions I asked, it would help me help you.
Oh, and finally, somewhere down the line you will need to start thinking about Middle school (I spent a lot of years there too). Getting a 504 might be a good idea and it might be easier to start the process in elementary school. Hope this helps.